How Tae Kwon Do has changed me.

How Tae Kwon Do has changed me.
By David A. Roman

When I was a child I was one of the smallest and youngest kids in my class. I was always being picked on, and harassed by everyone. I was skinny and short, and had never defended myself physically. I spent most days trying to avoid the jerks and bullies, not always successfully. I never felt safe in school, always worried some kid would punch me or do something stupid to me.
This was one of the main reasons that when Alex was 6 and we were presented with the opportunity for him to take Tae Kwon Do I jumped at it. Alex was very skinny, and one of the youngest children in his class at school (he still is). I was concerned that he would be the victim of the same garbage that I had to endure. I wanted him to have some self-confidence and to be able to at least defend himself if someone decided to do something stupid to him. It was with this mind-set that we enrolled Alex into TKD classes at the Kannapolis YMCA in 2001 at the tender age of 6. I did the same thing most parents did, we went to the fist class, watched it, then were told that we couldn't be in the class after that, so we relied on Alex telling us what he was learning.

After the 3rd week of asking him what he was learning and getting “I DON’T KNOW” I decided I needed to see if I could “help” in the classes so that I could at least know what he was learning and then be able to help him. I volunteered as a “Parent Helper”. This was where I got my first taste of TKD. I remember sitting out in the lobby with about 30-40 kids and their parents, then getting up and herding them into the back gym. Then we had to line them up (this took 3-4 mins), and then get class started. By the time we covered a few punches, and kicks, and stretching out, the class was over.

This continued for the next 2-3 months, and then when it was time for the Tournament, we went down to the
Grady Cole Center and along with about 300 other kids and their parents went thru about 3 hrs of watching 40 kids in a ring do their stuff. It was very interesting
to watch. Most of the kids seemed to be lost, or just looking around. Alex was all excited to “win” a medal, and ribbons, etc. I don’t think he placed very well in
the overall standings.

Alex continued to go to class, and I continued to help out. After a few more months, Alex got his Yellow Belt, then I think a 2nd degree stripe for it too. It was in December of 2001 that Mister Tim pulled me aside in class one day and asked me to go thru Sila and Dan-gun. I did, and he asked me to do several more things. I thought it was to show some child what to do. After about 10 mins or so, he walked away and came back with a Yellow belt, handed it to me, bowed and said “Congratulations Mr. Roman”. I was in shock, I had not really given a thought to actually being “IN” the class as a student. I had also not thought that I was learning as much as I was. I was told that I could continue to take classes with Alex and “help” and when he had time and opportunities he would show me some more advanced things. I could barely kick above my belt, let alone do things that most of the adults were able to do in the classes. I really doubted if I would be able to ever do the kicks and things I was watching Mr. Aldridge do.

"fear is the absence of courage, without courage fear is always there." - Mario Lopez

My knees have been an issue for me since I was in my mid 20’s. I have ripped tendons in one knee, and both have so much arthritis in them, that they sound like gravel when I try and climb stairs. I have had trouble for so long that I never really considered that kicks and things would help me not
hurt.

"You'll know you're really good when you don't have to show it!" - Unknown

Sparring was something that I was, just was to be honest, scare to death of. I had not fought with anyone on purpose, and I was not sure of punching someone, or getting punched. The fact that on the 2nd or 3rd time I ever sparred I kicked the person’s knee with my shin causing a major lump on there for about a week. And pain I was not really prepared to deal with. I have always been scared of getting in a fight because I never had been (not more then 1 or 2 hits over the years), and I never knew if I could deal with the pain, or what would happen to me. It has always been an issue in my life.

When I was younger I was scared to get into a fight, and even as a 17 year old guy, I ended up changing some major things in my life in order to avoid several people that had been “after” me for some lame issues. This fear of being in a fight caused me to make drastic changes to my life.
It was a really big issue that has always been in my mind. What would I have done differently etc. I have never been what you would consider a “mans man”, I have always backed away from fights, and issues that could turn into a physical confrontation. I'm not sure if this is partly because of having a alcoholic for a father, especially one that was very mean and abusive, or just the fact that i have never like confrontations.


We continued in class for about 6 more months. That was when I showed up to class one Friday to find Miss Erica teaching, and found out that Mr. Tim was no longer going to be teaching. This hit me hard, because I know Alex had been enjoying he teaching style. Miss Erica’s style was
very different than Mr. Tim’s and I wasn't sure if Alex would do well with it.

We continued to work in this fashion for a few more months then Miss Erica was just gone one week, and we had someone else teaching. Someone who had no idea what she was doing, I knew more about the forms
we had been practicing. Then the next week we had 2 new people, and then 2 more, and so on for about 4-5 weeks. We were about to quit when I was informed by Mr. Aldridge that Miss Erica was teaching on Saturday afternoons. We switched over to her class, it was a lot longer, with a lot less people in it, and we were able to
get a great deal more training than we had been receiving. We continued this for a few weeks, when I found out that the Church I play drums for was moving to a Saturday evening service, and there was no way could continue to go to TKD class AND play drums for them. I had to drop out of something that was making a huge change in
my life.

"a belt will only cover two inches of your butt, so you had better have the skills necessary to cover the rest of it!" -(M. Richer)

I continued to take Alex to class (or my wife did), he was still learning but I was hating not being part of things. Our church situation changed (after 10 weeks!) and I was able to come back to class. The re-learning of things hurt me a lot. I lost a good bit of flexibility, and movement.
I worked hard to get back into the groove of class. It wasn't that long into things that we moved back to Friday nights, and back into the main gym. I remember showing up to class and Miss Kim being there, and I asked about Miss Erica and was told she was taking some time off. I was concerned, here we are and I'm on my 3rd major teacher. After a few weeks we were told Mr. Tim would be taking things back over, so when he started back up, the class changed again, this time to a much longer class. It became so much more in-depth.

The classes became something I really look forward to each week. I moved up to a blue stripe on my green belt, and then up to my blue belt. It was then that I started to think that I might be able to make it to black belt one day. It is very difficult for me, I come to class sometimes my knees hurting so bad I can hardly bend them, but I push thru and stretch and work and work, and most times, by the end of class I'm feeling good. Working hard for the next 2 years moved me up to blue then to red. It was at the Black belt testing in October of 06 that I really felt like I could do it. I could make it to black. Working with Shane on his armed and unarmed attacks and all that is involved for the testing, I felt that if I could make it this far, I could make it to black.

I have found myself changing over the past 3-4 years. I have found in myself a confidence that I had never had, knowing that I can handle a punch, or take a kick to the face (OK, it was from a 16 year old but she is a black belt), and even feel a lot more comfortable with me. Something that has always been a problem. I am trying hard to make even more changes in myself. It is very hard to start TKD at my age, to be the size I am, and with the knee issues, and other problems, but TKD has become part of me. One of the guys I work with was with me in Vegas (for work) and he came up to me and tried to grab me (just goofing around) and in about 2 seconds I had his arm behind his back, and he was freaking out. I realized I did it without even thinking about it. It's now a part of who I am, I feel myself watching people more, and also sizing up people when I enter a room (or they do). I can now get my kicks (on a good day) well over my head. The first time I ever saw anyone break any kind of boards, I always thought it was fake or something was done to make it easy. Then I was at a testing and people were doing 1 board breaks and I had mine, and had no idea what to do, or how to break it. Someone wanted me to kick the board, I was like, um.. no thanks, and did a punch into the board, it broke so easy, like I hadn't even touched it. I was still worried on my blue belt testing, when I had to break 3 at a time, with a side-kick (something
I had not been doing right up until about 2 weeks before that). I watched Mr. Rattler break his 4 like they were butter, and I was thinking “if he can do it, I can do it”. So I stepped up, and Master Tim told me to not think about it and just kick it. I stood there and measured up, and Master Tim goes “HIT IT!” and I just slammed it, and my foot went thru them without a hitch, then, dummy me, pulls my foot back really fast, and scraped the crap out of both sides of my ankle. This was shocking, I didn't think it would go like that. So I felt really confident about it, that was until Mr. Aldridge’s (and Miss Heather’s) black belt testing. It was the first Black-belt testing I had been to, and when they struggled so hard to break their boards, and Mr. Aldridge hurt his hand on the speed-break, I lost all confidence I had in my “ability”. This faded even more when I went to the testing for Shane & Dustin, watching more and more people not be able to make their breaks. And then to find out that Mr. Rattler broke his leg trying to break, that made me very nervous.


My red belt testing came and I had to break my 4 boards, I didn't give myself a chance to think about it, I measured up 1 time, stepped back and SLAM, smashed right thru them. I was so excited, and relieved. This was after one of the hardest weeks I have ever had at work (including working 22 hrs in 1 day, and sleeping around 3 hrs the day of the testing, and also started out with food poisoning). I was on a high for the entire weekend, knowing I did it, I passed the test that I had put out there as something nearly impossible. It boosted my confidence in myself and ability immensely.

I have been in this for over 5 years now, moving slowly and feeling all the time that I really was not ever TRYING to make it to Black, just trying to learn each new form, or new task, etc. For the first
time in all this learning I can actually see myself wearing a Black belt, something that has taken on a great deal of meaning for me since I started all this. I know that Black Belt is just another step in the process, when I started I was sure it was the end, and now I see there is a lot more to go.

My goal for 2007 is to gain more movement in my legs, and body, and be able to handle the rigors of the 7+ hours of testing, and to obtain my Black Belt.